So bitter and so sweet
The one that brings you near
The one that takes you from me
Truly defining lovehate
Now I sit down to write
But nothing is wrong
It is all right, I like to think
Besides the aching in my forehead since you've gone away
Alone with my tired brow
I've just finished the last bowl of soup we made
With the freshest ingredients
So fresh in the mind
As I see your notes around, curly U's and circles dot your I's
I can't help but think
Is our work done or undone?
Both.
The bag of masa de harina we never got to
But you did learn the word— nixtamalization
How can I make digestible this loneliness
The feeling of my upper lip, so clean and so defined
As you left me with less there, but less was needed
I don't want to let it get overgrown again
I need you to do what you do
With me
More and soon
But it never feels soon enough
Even though waves of patience come over me
Breaking at the cress
Like when I got into bed last night
To your smell on my pillow
Or as I will again tonight
And the next night
So cold turkey—
This broken heart comes and goes.
Holding my breath now
Waiting to hear, where to go from here
But knowing there's nothing close to ease the pain
Its not 100 miles, its not a stones throw
Its over mountains
Closest now are the small pieces of chocolate left
In the crinkled plastic
They will soon be gone, too
Chipping away with their sea salt
Satisfying my mouth and my salty tears
The chocolate that you chose
It is good chocolate.
